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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Rating: C-

Submitted by on June 27, 2009 – 11:32 AMOne Comment
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The summer’s biggest film has arrived and moviegoers haven’t been this stimulated with hype and anticipation since The Dark Knight. After the first Transformers film surmounted our expectations in both CGI execution and story development, we actually began praising Michael Bay as a movie god. Now with the highly anticipated sequel hitting theaters just in time for Independence Day, Bay looks to light up the screen by adding more familiar faces to the Transformers universe and incorporating more destructive explosions into the mix. But in typical fashion, he never learns, bigger doesn’t always mean better.

international-transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen_290The story continues where the first film concluded, as Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) heads off to college, keeping long distance relationships with his two loves—his mechanically savvy girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) and his guardian angel Autobot/Camaro, Bumblebee. Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) is now working with the U.S. military to find and destroy the rest of the Decepticons, who are surprisingly roaming the Earth in search of an unidentified artifact.

The bad-bots hack into the U.S. government satellite system (which they finally decide to break into after two years on Earth) and discover the whereabouts of the treasure that holds the key to their apocalyptic incentives. Just settling in on campus, Sam begins to have visions of what the remaining Decepticons are in search of. Megatron and company are all over Sam’s trail, but the Autobots are by his side. Sam must now help Optimus and crew in their battle to save the world…again.

Let’s just put it out there—this film is a complete disaster. You literally get the Michael Bay treatment here—a film with an underdeveloped story that looks to make-up for lost ground by throwing in large-scale action sequences, where you can’t even untangle which Transformer is in battle, while blowing out your eardrums with ridiculously sonorous explosions. Plus it doesn’t help when you have two ethnocentric Autobots named Mudflap and Skids, who both carry the traits of an urban dunce and speak in Ebonics. Comic relief executed improperly.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is as disappointing as many of Bay’s previous films, notably another sequel of his, Bad Boys 2. As a producer, he becomes resolute in shoving overdrawn action sequences and CGI down our esophagus. With all that’s transcending onscreen, you lose all interest in the characters. That’s never a good sign, especially when you have a box office magnet like LaBeouf onscreen for more than 2/3’s of the film. You get a cast of quality actors like Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro who get shafted roles and could have been better off on the cutting room floor.beers_premium

If you’re willing to commit to 2 hours and 30 minutes of rambunctiously loud audio and an asinine storyline, Revenge of the Fallen will satisfy you even more than the first entry. But there was a reason why Michael Bay recently announced he wont return for more Transformers films, deep down he’s aware he f’d up. He created a film that couldn’t morph itself into a quality picture.

Beer Pairing: The Recommendation here is Yuengling Premium Beer. Here’s a beer that packs more of a punch than necessary—a similar fate experience in this sequel.